If you’re running out of toilet paper, and can’t get buy more because of shortages, then you’ll need some toilet paper alternatives.
For some reason the current coronavirus pandemic has led to a very strange phenomenon where toilet paper seems to be one of the first things that people are panic-buying.
It’s hard to believe that a respiratory illness from China can cause the stores in the US to sell out all their toilet paper in hours, but I digress.
You may be running low or have completely run out, and now you’re really in a “sticky” situation.
So, what do you do?
Here Are 7 Toilet Paper Alternatives You Can Try
1. Bidets
This is the easiest way to deal with the toilet paper shortage.
The most difficult hurdle to overcome will be to shift your mindset.
Millions of people in Europe, Asia, etc. use bidets to clean up after a “number 2”.
A spray of water is delivered directly to the bunghole and cleans the area effectively. It’s more hygienic than toilet paper and its hassle-free.
Americans who are not used to this practice and can’t even fathom the idea of using a ‘bum gun’ to clean themselves may be hesitant to try it out.
Give it a try and you may never look back. Remember, tough times call for improvisation and adaptation.
Rather than spending hours in lines or jostling with other people just to get toilet paper, you could easily purchase a bidet from Amazon and install it in your house. Problem solved.
2. Wet Wipes
This is another alternative to toilet paper. There are two problems here. Firstly, these may be sold out too. Secondly, flushing wet wipes down your toilet may clog the plumbing.
If your toilet gets clogged, you’ll need to find a plumber to fix the problem and during these times of self-isolation, that will be a bigger chore than usual.
The simple solution to this is to throw them in the trash rather than flushing.
Some people may hoard baby wipes as toilet paper substitute. This is not recommended because babies NEED those wipes too, since their skin is softer and more sensitive. Be thoughtful even when times are tough.
3. Fast Food Napkins
Sometimes you just have to think out of the box.
Fast food outlets usually provide paper napkins with their meals.
Buy a Happy Meal and voila! You’re now the proud owner of some McT.P.
Again, flushing these isn’t a good idea, so these will need to go in the trash.
4. Washable Towels or Cloth Rags
This one is nasty and should only be undertaken by those with a strong stomach.
All levity aside, the cloth towels/rags will be used just like toilet paper, but when you’re done using the towels, you’ll need to wash them in hot water so they can be reused later.
If the idea of doing this makes you cringe, you’re better off just getting a bidet and calling it a day.
5. Paper products
There are many other types of paper that you could re-purpose as toilet paper alternatives.
You could use old newspapers, junk mail, or even your printer paper.
This actually be really common before the invention of toilet paper. People would tear papers out of the Sears catalog they received in the mail to use as toilet paper.
The trick here is to crumble the paper up and straighten it back out multiple times until it’s soft and supple enough to use.
If you need to soften it even more then you can just dampen it with water.
Use caution with this method since inks on the paper you use could potentially have negative effect on your health.
Once again, you’ll also need to discard the used ‘toilet paper’ in the trash and not flush it down because your plumbing will get clogged.
6. Sanitary Pads
Feminine hygiene products may be sold out, but if all you can get your hands on are sanitary pads, those can be used as a toilet paper alternative too.
These are actually pretty handy to have in your emergency kits anyway — even if you don’t use them for their designed purpose.
For instance, their absorbent properties can be useful for certain medical applications.
7. Dish Washing Sponges
These are another potential toilet paper alternative.
However, just like the washable towels you’ll need to reuse them which means washing them and enduring the ordeal.
One more time since it bears repeating…
None of these products should be flushed down your toilet because they do NOT break down like toilet paper, and will clog the sewer lines.
Other Toilet Paper Alternatives
In addition to the options mentioned above, some hardcore survivalists will recommend toilet paper alternatives such as leaves, corn husks, handfuls of grass, etc.
Obviously these are extreme measures, and you’re probably not yet in a situation where you’re living off-grid or in the wilderness.
Store shelves are still being restocked in most areas (for the time being anyway) and many supermarkets have put limits on many essential items to prevent hoarding.
Hopefully things will return to normal soon, but if they don’t then now you know what toilet paper alternatives you can use.
Are There Any Toilet Paper Alternatives That We Missed?
Be sure to let everyone know any toilet paper alternatives that we didn’t mention in the comments below!
